Category Archives: Blog

You Don’t Have To Be a Superstar to Be Successful

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In my opinion, I think too many people today are hung up on their definition for success, rather than simply feeling or accepting success on their own terms.

Think about it: the media is constantly bombarding us with stories of what they deem to be success: money, high-powered careers, cars, clothes. I think there is a big misconception between fame and success because I personally know a lot of people that are successful that are not famous, and I am sure we can all name a few famous people that are not successful.  So let me share an obvious revelation with all of you: you don’t need to hit home runs to be successful. Base hits are just as valuable for the win.

I recently had the pleasure of reading Mark Cuban’s book, How To Win At The Sport of Business and I was happy to see that I am not alone when it comes to practical definitions for success. According to Mark, “One’s efforts should really be measured by their ability to set goals and achieve results, not simply by the amount of hours one works in a single day.” I completely agree. Choosing to be a workaholic and, even worse, wasting precious time that you can never get back without even achieving results is ludicrous.

“People who are exceptionally good in business aren’t so because of what they know but because of their insatiable need to know more.” – Michael E. Gerber (author of The E-Myth Revisited)

Successful people like Mark Cuban and Michael Gerber may make success look easy, but I can assure you, both gentlemen are constantly reading and searching for new ways to expand their knowledge in order to do things better and “smoke” their competition in a way that properly utilizes their precious time.

In his book, Mark talks about how one goes about winning a segment of his or her business and finding one’s edge. He not only writes of where one’s edge comes from,  but the steps it takes to get there.

The important takeaways for me from Mark’s book are:

  • study your business
  • understand what it will take to differentiate yourself from your competition when dealing with clients
  • and, most importantly, your willingness to do what it takes to get results

To continue to replicate your success, you need to understand “why” you are succeeding in the first place and then continue to build on that success.

“If you aren’t happy with where you are, simplify your life and go out and try as many things as it takes to find what you may be destined to be.” – Mark Cuban

My personal philosophy for success is simple: “Do what you love every day of your life while surrounding yourself with positive people that love and support you.”

Successful people get to choose the life they want to live by surrounding themselves with positive people that love and support them, while at the same time getting up every morning to pursue a passion they love.

Hey, that sounds like a pretty cool definition to me.

Sliding Doors for Success

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Did you ever have that feeling of disappointment when you really set your mind to doing or achieving something and it did not turn out quite the way you planned? You sat down and drew out all the action steps necessary to achieve your desired goals; you studied or learned a new skill; you spoke to others you believed were the right people that could help you get what you had been looking forward to for months and then wham; nothing.

My Dad used to refer to this unfortunate universal outcome as Man Plans; God Laughs.  Despite all your well-intentioned efforts, things don’t always turn out as you planned, but was that really by accident?

There was a 1998 movie called Sliding Doors with actress Gwyneth Paltrow that looked at one day in time and examined several possible outcomes based upon a series of different events. If this had not happened at that exact moment, then this would not have occurred, and on and on.  We all have experienced those moments at some time in our lives and it’s enough to make you crazy. But there may be some truth to all of this.

Disappointment, or more importantly negative emotions, that results from unpopular outcomes may simply be nothing more than a sliding door moment in your life ahead of something better in the near future. Although our immediate instinct is to get angry or upset at ourselves or others, maybe we just need to take that same moment to ask ourselves if that outcome was really something that we truly needed or wanted.

Rather than shutting ourselves off from other possible opportunities that may lie in our path, we could take this opportunity to pat ourselves on the back for attempting something that we thought we wanted. All the time and effort that we put in to learning something new or networking was not wasted because even though we did not accomplish our immediate goal, we did put other things into motion whether we realized it or not…and who knows what new opportunities will lie ahead as a result of those efforts?

As my friend Andrea Squibb recently reminded me when I got frustrated because things did not work out exactly as I planned, although it was nerve wracking for me, I still have my plan and I did take the necessary time to think things through. Although I did not get the immediate response that I wanted, I should still give things time to play out before I give in to my disappointment.

She also reminded me that some unexpected positive things have also recently happened to me, thanks to my good friend Jennifer Wilkov, and that I was on the right path. This was a great lesson for me to keep my eye on the positives and let the other stuff go.

I will plan to continue my efforts toward accomplishing those intended goals, but I will also remember to take the time to appreciate and accept things that may also come my way simply by keeping my eyes and ears open for unexpected detours.

Some great takeaways:

  • Don’t stay too focused on a desired outcome if it prevents you from experiencing or seeing other opportunities that lie right in front of you.
  • Keep things in perspective; “Rome wasn’t built in a day” as they say. Temper your expectations accordingly.
  • Most importantly, success is awarded to those that always follow their hearts and continue to practice patience and persistence.

5 Leadership Practices for Making a Difference

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I was sitting on Kirkwood Avenue in Bloomington, Indiana, yesterday waiting for a student that I am currently advising when out of the blue a sophomore undergraduate came up to me. He recognized me from a lecture I gave to his class last year and he wanted to thank me again for all the great advice and just say hello.

I cannot begin to tell you how great that felt! Not only did he remember me, he also wanted to take the time to share his feedback. At that moment, I realized we both got to experience a pretty cool win-win.  He got the knowledge from my experience and I got the confirmation that I had made a difference.

After our brief encounter, I started to think about James Kouzes and Barry Posner’s five fundamental leadership practices that are based less upon a leader’s personality and more upon their actions:

1. Modeling the Way – Am I doing a good job setting a positive example for others to follow? How am I adding value to a student’s purposes and goals? When I wrote my book, Growing Success; A Young Adult’s Guide to Achieving Personal and Financial Success I wanted to write a book that I wished that someone had written for me when I was that age. As a result, I act as an inspirational guide to help young adults change their awareness for success.

2. Inspire Shared Vision – Am I communicating a clear message to others? Do my words resonate and inspire others to pursue their goals and manage their fears? I communicate clearly to young adults by breaking down the steps to success in all areas at their level of experience and understanding, thereby enabling them to manage their fears and discover ways to succeed on their own terms.

3. Challenge the Process – I have always liked to challenge the status quo! I am the kind of person that does not like to take “no” for an answer, or only believes that something cannot be done after I have tried and either succeeded or failed on my own terms. I have 3 marathon and 9 half-marathon medals to support that theory. I endeavor to empower young adults to identify probable outcomes in order to achieve their desired goals. It is important that young adults understand the purpose behind what will manifest their future success—“the why”—as well as how to achieve it. Do you have what it takes to just go for it?

4. Enable Others to Act – I have always believed actions speak louder than words. An old friend once told me “put it on mute”; is there any truth or trust behind your words? Don’t tell me; show me! Do my lectures inspire others to believe in themselves enough to go for it? Succeed or fail, you will be a better person for getting out there and putting your words into action. The life lesson I strive to bestow upon young adults is that you need to take action if you have any hope of attaining your future goals and success.

5. Encourage the Heart – Do you make efforts to show support and praise for others? I was truly rewarded yesterday by that student’s feedback and kind words. Always remember to take the time to stop and either thank or praise someone for the kindness or support they have provided for you. By always being attentive to the needs of others, it will be returned to you tenfold.

Mostly importantly, it is important to always remember that we cannot effectively lead others unless others agree to follow. Truly successful leaders not only inspire others, they make a difference.

Take a moment to thank someone who has really made a difference in your life today. Give yourself and someone else a cool win-win!

What Would You Do If You Weren’t Afraid?

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That was the question my Pepperdine University Leadership Professor, Vance Caesar, asked me and my fellow doctoral students during one of our classes eight years ago.

I recently put that question to the test this past June when I dropped everything and moved from Los Angeles, California, to Bloomington, Indiana. For the past 22 years, I was fortunate to have created a successful career in the music industry; however, I was not following my true creative path.

Seven years ago, I became restless. I knew I was ready for a new challenge, but I didn’t want to leave my job and have to start all over again somewhere else after so many years. That is what I told myself, but the truth was: I was afraid. I had spent so many years doing things that never made me happy, while at the same time completely letting go of my creative pursuits which was why I moved to Los Angeles in the first place.

Last October, my frustration came to a head when I found myself overweight, under-utilized at work, and completely unhappy living in Los Angeles. It was Mark Twain who once said, “Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.” I had finally had enough.

When I started to work on my exit plan, I began to think about ways that I could use both my long overdue creative talents along with my acquired leadership skills to help others. I started to really focus on my strengths and what I wanted to do next. I began seeking the help and advice of friends and professionals.

Within six months, I lost 50 pounds, guest-lectured at Indiana University, ran 2 marathons and 6 half-marathons, left my record company job, and made the decision to move back to Bloomington, Indiana, where I went to graduate school to pursue teaching and consulting opportunities. It would be the perfect way to merge my creative and leadership abilities.

When I sat down and took the time to reflect on what I really wanted, I quickly came to realize that my true passions lie in educating young adults on topics such as leadership, self-esteem, goal-setting, personal finance and investing.

When I moved back to Bloomington in June, not only did I feel calmer, I was more at peace. In the past two months, I have met with several interesting people at Indiana University about future teaching and consulting opportunities—just as I planned., I got my old DJ job back at 92.3 WTTS-FM, and I am about to release my first e-book on investing, as well as publish my first educational book for young adults entitled Growing Success: A Young Adult’s Guide to Personal and Financial Success.

So, what would you do if you weren’t afraid? Are you following a path that makes you happy? If not, what could you do right now to change?

Go ahead! Take some action and make that change today!